Again and Again.,Never Ending I Guess..

 First of all, i want to say i do care him so much, cherish him, wanting him...but then i just thinking, does he really look me? does he feel like my feeling toward him?

salah gw apa sih??sampe-sampe segitunya dia ke gw..kalo emang gw banyak salah ke dia gw udah selalu n selalu minta maaf..am i wrong to have this feeling??

am i really has done sumthin' REALLY wrong??

apa itu cowok gak bisa mikir ya?

udah berapa banyak gw berkorban buat dia, tapi yang dia lakuin tetep aja ngambang, gak jelas..

gw bener- bener bingung mau dia apa, gw udah bersabar dari lama tapi kenapa dia tetep gak bisa ngeliat gw apa adanya sih??dia yang ngasih gw harapan tapi dia juga yang ngrampas itu...gw cuma pengen dia bener-bener ngliat gw, ketulusan gw..

sumpah, gw cuma minta kejelasan dia aja..tapi yg gw dapet malah ke-TIDAK jelasan dia yang kalo gw pikir-pikir bakal menjadi-jadi, gw pengen nangis tapi gw gak bisa..

I'm stupid? maybe i'm really stupid, but i can't helped it!! what am i supposed to do??

gw bener-bener pengen ilangin semua rasa yang ada di hati gw, tapi gimana caranya??ikhlas?gw udah berkali-kali lepasin dia, relain dia pergi, but why he ALWAYS came back??what for?to make me like a SHIT??

GOD, gw udah gak tau lagi, berapa lama gw musti bersabar..gw cuma gak habis pikir, apa sebenernya yang dia pengen??kenapa selaluuuuu gw yang harus bersabar???

GOD, skarang gw udah gak bisa apa-apa, gw udah sangat-sangat bersabar dari dulu sampe sekarang, gw cuma minta keJELAS an aj, susah nyaaa udah kaya' naklulin dunia, i want to give up..but my heart tells me to keep strong. Walaupun jawaban yang gw tunggu gak sesuai yang gw mau, tetep aja hati gw pengen teruuuuus lanjuuut padahal otak gw berkata sebaliknya..entah gw setia apa bodoh, but i can't help this feeling!!!!

I just REALLY need a miracle for this..

Love isn't about LOVING someone PERFECT, But LOVE is LOVING someone PERFECTLY .

Feeling sumthin' Strange..

Well i just wanna share sumthin' 'bout my feelings, i don't know how i deal with my feeling, i know it's sound terrible 'cuz i had already feel it about 3 times but i still don't get it :(

At first i thought i'm okay, 'cuz I've been broken heart for 2 months..but then, about a week ago, i had this strange feelings, well not strange actually, it's

just.. i don't know i think i'm still in love with him (i know it's hard to accept)

but that makes me more confuse, 'cuz in other hand i think i'm just still in

awkward position (which is kinda bit uncomfortable being alone).

And because of that i'm so confuse right now, i don't know what i want. Well at first i want him to disappear from my life, but then i'm kinda bit miss him..

and now, when i'm re- add his BB pin, i just thought it was a bad, really bad idea, but what can i do? he already approve it.

I still remember what my friend said to me, that i'm still cared for him. But now i just..i think communicate with him was really bad idea..

GOD, i don't know what to do now, i now i miss him but i don't want him to know my feelings 'cuz i know he doesn't have same feeling like me..

i now he was already erased his feeling since we broke up, but oh God i don't know what i'm gonna do now..just wanted to cry and cry now :'(

gosh...it's june already..time moving so fast huh?

And because i

t's

june so it's MY BIRTHDAY, yaaaaaaay!!! so happy that now i'm already 18th years old ( not happy 'cuz i'm so old ) :(

At first, i was thought i would be really bad birthday, full of bored some feeling, but in the end it wasn't bad at all..hehehehe :D

I can't explain much though, but at least i can say that THANK YOU SO MUCH for all my friends (uuuu love u all) ;D

And THANK YOU so much for him, who had congrats me ( i wish i can celebrate the day with you, but i know i can't ) it's really sad, i knew. But I still thanks him that he remember my birthday :D

Well...that's all for my birthday, even though there was no party at all, but still i'm happy because of him..once more i just want to said THANK YOU SO MUCH and i know i won't be with you anymore, but i wish wherever you are, whenever you are i hope you always do fine and well, it was really beautiful moment to be with you ;)